What doesn’t kill you, makes you….

Andrea

When people ask me whether I have a positive or negative outlook in life, I’d usually choose the middle ground and respond with “realistic”.
However, since each one of us might have different realities, it can’t really be objectified.

Very rarely we hear stories of people who have gone through hell, but somehow got back up on the horse and made an impact to many other people’s life (e.g.  Nick Vujicic and 

Malala Yousafzai)

And more than a few have loved to bring this up in my lifetime with the question:

“Why can’t you be a bit more like these people?”

But let’s be honest here.

These examples are rare.

Most people who have experienced a trauma, will always remain a bit pessimistic or skeptical at least.

And obviously, if negative feelings dictate your life, it is wise to seek help. However, finding the “right” therapist for you is not easy. So you might end up talking to many and having to explain your story over and over again can be emotionally exhausting.

In my opinion, an overload of positivity is equally as toxic as negativity, because:

a. Nobody is happy ALL THE TIME

b. You probably don’t have the ability to feel an empathy which might just mean that you’re a psychopath 😬

My childhood has shaped me into a slightly pessimistic person.

And would you have asked me to finish the qUote “what doesn’t kill you makes you ….” , I’d have definitely said “bitter”.

But then I came across this wonderful blogger https://mahbuttitches.com/ (great site name 😄) who introduced me to “what doesn’t kill you, makes you funnier”.

And that’s when I realized I have been attempting this quite often on my blog already on posts such as Just be yourself, Frustrations at the workplace and When you have to complete a group project.

And based on the responses on posts like that, many of you could relate to the situation and got a chuckle out of it at the same time. 

And that kind of feedback gives me such a feeling of community and that’s something I have been looking for a long time!

So thank you all for that!

But I am curious, which option(s) suit you the best to finish the quote “what doesn’t kill you, makes you….”. Which doesnt at all? Which one would you like to work towards to?

36 Comments

  1. Agree. I’d say “realistic” for myself as well to finish the statement. But in general it’s weird that trauma is this stimulus that can turn you into a completely different person. What if there was something like that for the (mostly guaranteed)positive? Or is there already?

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    1. Hmm very interesting.
      You hear of people winning the lottery, which I would consider a positive thing. I know money isn’t everything, but it can buy health (sometimes) and comfort.
      But you hear many stories how it destroys people’s life and it ends up becoming a trauma.

      I’d like to believe that winning a big amount of money wouldn’t change me other than make me less stressed. But who knows….?
      I’d be happy to volunteer if someone ever wants to do a social experiment, haha 😅

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  2. For me, depending on the trauma, each one of them is accurate. Ideally, I would like the answer to be stronger and funnier every time, but that’s just not the case. There are some traumas that initially make me weaker, and take some time to get out of that head space to then turn it around and ultimately make me stronger.

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    1. Totally agree with you.
      Emotionally I have never been a strong person, so “stronger” has never applied to me. The closest would be indifferent or just becoming better at accepting the circumstances.
      But these are the more serious traumas where others have suffered more I have. But seeing a loved one going through difficult times can cause heartache too.

      But some cases, such as typical asshole behaviour of previous managers/colleagues, I have found peace with.
      I never had energy to plot revenge, but using them as inspiration for drawings and making others laugh with it is very satisfying 😄

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  4. Excellent post. I wrote a blog post a while back entitled the power of negative thinking, in part as a reaction to the many self-help books my daughter has, none of which have led to an improvement in her ability to function. Finishing the saw, though, will be futile since there are so many possible answers – depending on the individual and the circumstance.

    What doesn’t kill you leaves you alive whether you want to be or not.

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    1. I am very skeptical about self help books, but I have given them a chance.
      But it always seems that 70% of the book consists of the author bragging about their own accomplishments and them promoting their previous books. And I am just impatient for that 😅

      I’d like to read the post, but when I click on your name, it doesn’t show a site!
      You could try the following:
      1. Click on your profile photo
      2. Go to account settings
      3. Check if you have filled out a web address

      You might be missing out on a lot of potential subscribers otherwise!

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  5. It’s always been a mixture of A and D. I’m also a realist. Things are going to happen in life that you can’t change, so why not grow from it? Especially if it kicks your butt. And I grew up in a family that taught me to laugh through the hard times. We find comfort in humor.

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  6. Aaahh! Beautifully put, I love the illustration, and thank you for the shout out! Funniest is also my favorite of the four illustrations, tho they are all just so perfectly done.

    Also, I think I wouldn’t even call myself realistic or anything – it’s like, everything just depends on the situation, I don’t know maybe that is realistic. There’s some things that are tough to laugh at but I have done a bang up job making myself laugh at some doozies. And I donno, for me, that always feels best. Like if I cracked a good joke about it: that’s healing for me.

    I have gotten myself through some serious awfulness with the mantra I don’t know how or when, but I swear to you we will laugh about this someday”

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    1. Haha, sharkies are always the best 😄 they are just so fun to draw and it is also my favorite animal!

      I find “one day you’ll laugh about this” also very comforting. And even better “you’ll make others laugh”.

      Thanks so much for the inspiration for this post. I aim to post nearly every day, but sometimes my mind draws a blank. That’s when people like you come in handy 😄

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  7. Pingback: What doesn’t kill you, makes you…. – Mah Butt Itches

  11. I do agree what doesn’t ki you does make you funnier . Personally I find myself switching to sarcasm when things are not working .very nice post

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  12. Pingback: What doesn’t kill you, makes you…. – Hussaini Babila

  13. I would say that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, sometimes bitter for a while, and definitely tired. But never weaker.
    After a hard workout, you’ll always be sore and tired, but you wouldn’t say that you were weaker because of it. It made you stronger, but that new strength can only really be seen and used after the soreness and exhaustion have passed. What doesn’t kill you works the same way—it just works your brain instead of your body.

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  15. I feel like the cliche saying “… makes you stronger” is true. Well, at least for me. I’ve been through stuff and so in more difficult situations I most often have to lead others as they are not as used to difficulties as I am. They freak out and I roll my eyes.

    I LOVE the bitter drawing. I do feel bitter sometimes when people talk about their tough times when I feel like those are nothing in comparison to mine.

    In the short-term, I am definitely weaker as I need to pick myself back up and regroup.

    I don’t know about the funnier part, so I will check out the blog you recommend.

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    1. Maybe my indifference and acceptance are one way of becoming stronger, but I am not sure if it is entirely positive. But that is the best that I seem to be able to do.

      Oh definitely! I am confident enough to say that both you and I had a more difficult life than the average person.
      And of course it is worse for starving children in poorer countries, but you can’t really compare two completely different environments.

      I like the bitter drawing the most as well 😄 could be a fun on for Valentine’s Day as well for those who don’t care about all that commercial stuff 😄

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  16. I’d like to be able to say my reaction would be “determined.” But then, I can always get my revenge by writing the miscreant into my next novel. 😉

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  19. I consider myself a realist as well so definitely can relate. As for the image, love it! Can’t decide which choice is more accurate for me as I’ve always loved the phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but can definitely understand having these other feelings based on what in particular it’s in response to. I know I definitely feel bitter some days just wishing I hadn’t had to go through some of the things life has thrown at me.

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    1. I think I might above average resilient, because, to be honest, I pretty much always expect the worst. Not sure if that’s an actual good thing, haha.
      In a way, it could be considered stronger.
      It’s just that my primary emotion is to cry, which most associate with weakness and being dramatic.
      I wish that it wasn’t the case, because it is just one way of getting the emotions out of your system.

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      1. My primary emotion is to cry as well so I understand. I don’t know why that particular emotion helps me when I feel stressed and need to release emotions but it does.

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